The Case of the Stolen Stars
by Black Yoshi
Summary: Based on the story from Mario Party 1.  It's Toad's birthday, and to celebrate, he's throwing...a Mario Party!  But when Bowser decides to crash the party, who knows what trouble will ensue...  Please read and review!  Title's a bit cheesy, but it works.
1. Chapter 1

**So, after a long hiatus, I'm back. I may not finish my other Mario story; I'll be focusing on the (occasional) oneshot and short fanfic from now on. This story is based on the original **_**Mario Party**_**, with elements from other games added. I went off the **_**Mario Party**_** pamphlet for the character descriptions – and then exaggerated them like crazy.**

**Note: Mario et al and _Mario Party_ are (c) Nintendo, ltd. The ONLY part of this story which I own is the plot, as well as some of the character names (which I wasn't sure of, and just made up).**

**Please read and review!**

**Without further ado…**

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On the farthest outskirts of the Mushroom City, there lies the tiny and idyllic Mushroom Village. Surrounded by woods and built along the bank of the Mushroom Stream, this tiny village is the most peaceful in all of Mario Land. The Mushroom Bank and Mushroom Shop reside on one bank; around a sharp curve in the stream from the latter, Mrs. Delia Frigate's Mini-Game House stands amid the most beautiful garden for miles around. Next door, a ramshackle hut on wobbly stilts towers over the town dump; in this hut lives a hermit by the name of DJ Frog, who fixes and sells sound systems. A bridge connects the two banks of the river; tied to the bridge, a raft bearing a red flag floats about lazily in the calm current of the Stream. And in the midst of this tiny town, on the opposite side of the stream, sits the brightest green Warp Pipe in the Mushroom Kingdom.

The village was not well known at first – partly because it was by far the smallest village in the Kingdom – but after the events of the summer of 1998, it became almost as popular a destination as Toad Town. It began like any other summer in the Mushroom Village – the townsfolk went about their daily business as the children played in a roped-off section of the river and on the raft. Then Mario and his friends arrived, and almost overnight, everything changed.

"Here we are, guys," Mario said after what seemed like hours of walking. "Mushroom Village. Been looking for this place for ages. It's too bad Waluigi couldn't come along – he knows the place better than any of us. He could've given us a tour." The stocky plumber removed his cap and scratched at the scalp under his messy brown hair; noticing a look of half-disgust, half-wonder about the Princess's face, he quickly replaced the cap. "Hey Wario, hurry it up!" he added, noticing the distance between the big buffoon and the rest of the group.

"I'M COMING!" came Wario's voice. "Jeez, DK, can't you move any faster?"

"I would, if you would lose some weight!" the big ape shouted. "Man, you're lazy!" He reached the group within about five minutes and set Wario down. "That's it, Wario – either you start using those legs of yours and _walk_, or I feed you to the Warp Pipe and ensure that it sends you straight to Bowser!"

"Okay, okay, I'll walk, but don't expect any kind of breakneck speed out of me."

The group continued into the town, passing several Toad mechanics and a bro ken car along the way. "Excuse me, kind sirs," Luigi began as they approached the mechan ics, "but I happen to have years of experience in this field. Perhaps I could—?"

"Now's not the time for confusing the townspeople with your college-professor vocabulary," Peach said, tugging the skinny man in green in the direction of town. "We have got to be at the town park to meet Toad in…" She glanced down at her watch. About twenty after ten. "…five minutes, and because of Wario we're already going to be late."

The six reached the park in record time, despite Wario's apparent lack of stamina and thus snail-speed. As predicted, a Toad awaited their arrival from his seat upon a park bench. Mario recognized the red polka-dot turban atop his head and the shiny yel low accents upon his blue vest. "Kinopio! How've you been? I haven't seen you since the first time I saved the Princess from Bowser!"

"Mario! Luigi! Princess! My God, it's been ages!" the Toad said. "Oh, and please – call me Toad."

"Sounds good," Luigi answered. "Now, a few weeks ago I received a message on my computer ordering us to locomote to this particular village. I understand it was of utmost urgency?"

But the Toad refused to answer; the only reply he gave was the dumbfounded look upon his face. Equally dumbfounded looks adorned Wario's and DK's faces.

"Uh…we received an urgent message a few weeks ago saying to come here," Yoshi translated. "Can you tell us what it was about?"

"Oh, so THAT's what he was talking about!" Wario chimed in, then broke into a fit of laughter.

"Aw, darn it, I thought it was about bananas!" DK managed before joining Wari o's festival of uncontrollable cackling.

"WILL ALL OF YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?" Toad screamed, and Wario and DK froze solid. Mario rocketed into the air and as Luigi began to wobble and threatened to faint Yoshi scooted next to him and Luigi ended up slumped over the green dinosaur's back rather than all over the ground. Peach spun around fast enough to give herself whiplash and nearly joined Luigi upon the ground.

"Anyway," Toad continued when everyone had calmed down and Luigi had re gained his consciousness, "the message I sent you was a party invitation for our mayor's birthday."

"Who _is_ your mayor?" Mario asked.

"Hopefully he's not some fat, greedy scoundrel," Wario joked.

"There you go, talking about your fat, greedy self again," Luigi retorted, rolling his eyes and giving Wario a look of disgust which stopped him cold. "So whose party is it, Toad?"

"Yours truly," Toad said. "Now, this won't be your average party; rather, it will be a kind of…well, a kind of…" The little Mushroomer stopped to think for a moment as he struggled to come up with the right word. "Kind of…_virtual_ party. Yeah, that's it – _virtual_. It will be a kind of virtual board game."

"You mean like that fancy-schmancy _Virtual Monopoly_ game Peach just bought?" Wario half joked, half wanted to know. Almost instantly DK had his hand around the man's lips.

"Yes, sort of like that…" Toad thought for a moment, as if trying to think of a way to explain the rules without confusing Wario. "It would be easier to explain this game if you would just follow me into the Warp Pipe over there." With that he made a gesture toward the Warp Pipe, and all at once the group bolted toward it, leaving the little Mushroomer standing there half-dumbfounded, half-dazed. It took only a few seconds before the confusion and daze wore off, and he was off running after the group. "WAIT – I SAID _FOLLOW_ ME!"


	2. Chapter 2

"So all you have to do is hit that Dice Block over your head and you will auto matically be moved the corresponding number of spaces," Toad finished explaining. "Now do you UNDERSTAND ME, WARIO?"

"HUH? WHAT? WHATS GOING ON?" the big buffoon bolted out of his boredom-induced sleep as Toad's face approached his. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU—?"

"WARIO!" DK shouted, his gargantuan hands over his ears. "It's okay, it's only Toad."

"OH – well then, maybe you should give a speech that won't BORE ME TO DEATH!" Wario shouted after his heart rate had returned to normal and his adrenaline rush had subsided. "Geez, what are you—?"

"Wario," DK said, "I suggest you shut your mouth and take your turn."

"Or what?"

"Just trust me, you don't want to know what."

"Okay, okay," Wario said, hitting the Dice Block above his head.

The group had been warped to a board by the name of Luigi's Engine Room for their first go at the new game. The board was located – as the name suggested – in an engine room. Fences adorned with spikes littered the board, some hidden and some forming walls across the paths of the board. At the back, a gargantuan steam engine lay dormant and half-covered in cobwebs. Warp Pipes linked the ends of several of the paths to the Start, and enough loose wires and stray parts called the walls, ceiling, and floor next to the paths home to build an entire second Luigi's Engine Room.

The first couple of turns went rather smoothly. DK and Luigi watched from the sidelines as Mario paid five coins to switch which fences were hidden and which were exposed, and Yoshi bought the first Star of the game. Just five seconds later, however, Wario managed to reach Boo and steal the Star. And as he laughed that evil, maniacal laugh of his and ended his turn, the Princess found the board's Bowser machine and left some thirty-five Coins in the red. One minigame later, and Wario was fifteen more Coins in the black while the others were minus five Coins apiece.

It was then, however, that the loud bang tore through the board, and everyone froze in their tracks. Peach was staring the Bowser machine in its metallic face even though she was three spaces beyond it; Mario stopped even though he was just short of the Star and he had more than enough spaces to pass it; Wario had fallen asleep again but was jolted awake; and Yoshi was concentrating so hard on planning a next move for every possible dice roll, he leaped into the air and cleared the fence behind him.

"What the heck was _that?_" DK and Luigi chorused from the sidelines.

"If I knew I'd tell ya…" Toad replied, then hesitated for a moment before saying quickly: "Okay, guys, let's just ignore this and continue, shall we?" Everyone agreed, and Mario continued with his turn and bought the Star. Yoshi managed to advance a grand total of…two spaces. Wario's turn earned him a trip through the Warp Pipe and ten Coins from Koopa, and Peach received her share of profits from a hidden block which revealed Boo.

Then all at once a second loud _whoomp_ shook the board, knocking Wario off his feet and sending Yoshi stumbling into a nearby wall. Mario managed to stay upright and Peach found a wall and stayed against it.

"Okay, Toad, I don't think we can ignore that one," Luigi said. "Let's go check it out." With that everyone ran back to the Warp Pipe at the start, leaving Boo and Koopa in a state of stupor.

"Wait – don't you guys want some Coins?" Koopa asked from his place near the start.

"Wario's got a Star ripe for the stealing!" Boo shouted from across the board as the group filed into a Warp Pipe for the trip back to town.

They arrived to find the place a wreck.

Frog's hut had fallen off of its stilts and now hung over the banks of the stream; the Mushroom Shop had lost its front door and some of the shingles from Frigate's Minigame House littered her front lawn; the bridge had vanished; the raft was likely a mile downstream; and a set of gargantuan tracks linked the Mushroom Bank and warp pipe.

For a while no one spoke. A heavy silence hung over the empty town as the group stood gawking at the wreckage. The trees surrounding the town swayed slightly back and forth in the gusts of wind; one of the more violent gusts picked up several more shingles from Frigate's roof and landed them atop Frog's. A shutter on the Mushroom Shop swung to and fro with the breeze.

What seemed like hours passed before someone dared to speak.

"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED HERE?" Toad screamed.

"Why the heck are you asking me?" Wario demanded. "Ask Luigi – he probably knows!"

"I was watching you guys the entire time, you pernicious porcine pig!" Luigi shot back. "And if you refuse to believe me the proof can be obtained from security cameras throughout the board!"

"What the heck – you know what, I ain't even gonna ask. You'll just confuse me with your endless explanation."

"Let's check out the bank," Mario suggested. "It seems like the center of the dam age and it's where the tracks lead from."

Chernobyl awaited the group at the Mushroom Bank. The place had virtually survived an atomic bomb. The bank tellers were nowhere to be seen. The board displaying Coin and Star totals had followed the tellers out the door and out of existence. The Item Safe had been wrenched to the ground and the suspension cables which had once tethered it to the ceiling now fluttered about in the breeze. The door of the safe was wide open, bent, and hanging on one hinge. The safe had been gutted of its interior shelves and every single Item it contained.

"I must say, this is quite the surprise!" Luigi half-said, half-shouted.

"Yeah, it's like Wario passed gas in here or something!" Mario added, and every one but Wario was engulfed in a wave of laughter like no other.

Wario merely gave Mario a look which stopped him cold and retorted sarcastical ly, "Oh – ha ha ha, very funny! Now tell the one about Mario's—!"

A look of Mario's own froze the big buffoon solid as Peach noticed something and motored to the safe.

"Hey guys – look at this!" she hollered from halfway across the bank.

The group joined her and Toad noticed the note in her hand. "What is that?"

"I just found this in the safe. I can't quite read the handwriting but…" She cleared her throat before continuing.

"_Ha ha ha!_

_If you want your bank back in business, face me upon the Eternal Star at sun down tonight!_

_3162420619"_

"What kind of signature is that?" Wario blurted before anyone could stop him.

"It's a code, you big blubbering buffoon!" Luigi replied as the group made their way to the bank of the Mushroom Stream.

"What the heck's the 'Eternal Star'?" Toad asked the group.

"How should I know?" Yoshi retorted. "I've never heard of it before!"

"Must be a new Board or something," Mario answered.

"Yeah, that makes sense," DK added, "if whoever wrote the note knows his stuff about hacking computers."

"How true," Luigi added, "but we must ascertain the identity of the individual who penned this written message."

"What?" Wario asked.

"Uh…I think it has something to do with 'we must find out who wrote the note'," Mario translated. "Now do you understand, _Wario?_"

"What're you talking about – I knew what he was saying!" Wario argued.

"Uh, no you didn't!" Mario shot back. "If I recall, you were the one who—!"

"I've known what he was saying from the very start!"

"If I may interrupt—?" Luigi started.

"You wouldn't know what he was talking about if he _spelled it out for you!"_ Mario shouted.

"Uh…guys—?" Luigi tried again.

"ENOUGH!" DK shouted. "You two are giving me a migraine!"

"Uh – aren't you, like, notorious for those?" Mario joked, and the group broke into laughter.

"Seriously, guys, we are getting nowhere fast with you two always bickering," Toad butted in.

"I'm not bickering, Mario's bickering," Wario retorted.

"Further investigation is needed on the subject of this note," Luigi said. "I hap pen to have a decoder program on my laboratory computer; maybe it could analyze the handwriting and the signature and give us the iden – err, _name_ – of the ind – _person_ – who penned the message!"

"Good idea, bro," Mario agreed, then added as he pointed a finger at Wario, "and thanks for simplifying that so _he_ could understand it."

"Right then. Follow me." The group was on their feet and almost running after Luigi in about three seconds flat. "Quickly now, we haven't much time. That means you, Wario!" The big buffoon had climbed onto Yoshi's back and the poor dino was struggling to hold him up.

Within minutes Yoshi half set him down, half threw him off his back. "You sloth ful sack of lard! Why don't you just _walk for once?_"


	3. Chapter 3

Luigi's laboratory was a smallish wooden hut on the outer fringes of the Mushroom Village clearing. The hut looked exactly like the yurts at Yoshi Lake. A beautiful stone path led up to the front door from the dirt path out of the Village. A flowerbed full of azaleas and morning glories surrounded the hut. A stone chimney towered over the myriad small satellite dishes littering its roof. Behind the hut, a swimming pool in an irregular shape held about six feet of water. The stone used on the pool deck just about matched the stone used on the front walk. A nylon canopy stretched over the swimming pool and a water slide plummeted into the pool from about ten feet in the air.

"Isn't this gorgeous?" Peach beamed.

"I know!" Mario added. "I've been meaning to do something like this with our house but never could find the time."

Luigi approached the front door and pressed a button. A panel opened and a key pad emerged from within the wall next to the door. Luigi removed his glove and pressed his finger upon a small panel on the keypad.

"_PASSWORD PLEASE,_" a computerized voice came out of the machine. Luigi whispered something under his breath and the computer said: "_PASSWORD ACCEPTED. WELCOME, LUIGI AND FRIENDS_."

The door swung wide open and the group entered. One flight of stairs later they had entered the basement laboratory.

"Luigi, why didn't you ever tell me about this place?" Mario asked. "This is incredible!"

"I…to be honest, I don't really know!" he said as he made his way to the computer and took his seat. "I just thought…well, with your tendency to become a child again whenever somebody mentions a swimming pool…I know you've changed since then but this is one of the few spaces I would prefer _spotless_, and I…well, I know that when you become a child you tend to go ballistic and I knew it would leave this place looking like the Mushroom Bank—"

A loud snoring stopped Luigi in midsentence, and he glanced at the leather couch against one wall to find Wario fast asleep and DK halfway there. He decided to ignore them as he pondered where to start with the note.

"Toad, do you have the note with you?" Luigi asked.

The little Mushroomer extracted the note from his pocket. "Here you are, sir."

Luigi placed the note upon the nearby scanner and set to work on the note. Meanwhile, Mario extracted a deck of cards and engaged the Princess in a game of poker. In his sleep, DK whipped his fist backward as though backhanding a tennis ball – right into Wario's face.

"Hey Mario, I bet I can beat you!" Wario butted in as soon as he was awake.

"Without cheating? Impossible!" Mario shot back.

"It's possible!" Wario retorted. "Just last week I kicked Waluigi's butt!"

"Yeah right – Waluigi's the best card player I know!"

"You want me to prove it? Deal me a hand." Mario did so and five minutes later Wario had shoved another victory under his belt.

"You cheated!" Mario shouted. "I did not say deuces wild!"

"Fellas, please—!" Peach shouted as DK covered his ears and turned away from the group. "Remember DK's—!"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT – WARIO CHEATED!" Mario screamed at the top of his lungs.

"I DID NOT!"

"YES YOU—!" As DK turned to the group, his bloodshot eyes froze Mario solid, and he decided to lower his voice. "I mean, yes you did! I did not say—!"

"SHUT UP!" DK shouted suddenly. With one hand he lifted Wario off the floor and flung him into a nearby closet. "I'm going home – I can't stand you two anymore!"

"Agreed," Yoshi breathed, and the two made their exit.

"Yeah, I'll be heading out too," Toad said, and he slipped out behind Yoshi and DK. "I'll be waiting by the Warp Pipe!"

"Hey guys, I think I found something," Luigi cried just then. Thirty-five cards went flying in all directions as Mario and Peach rushed over to join him. "The computer's analysis of the note has imparted for us the identity of the individual behind it—!"

"Luigi, we don't have time for any of your five-day lectures – just _get to the point!_" Wario butted in as he emerged from the closet and his daze.

"Uh…I was trying to say, we have our man – and you won't believe who it is."

As Mario read and reread the computer's findings, displayed upon the largest monitor he'd ever seen, his jaw dropped. Peach's eyes became a pair of Coins and Wario…well, Wario made no motion of surprise, as he had already slumped onto the couch and was snoring away.

"Bowser?" Mario managed once he'd collected his jaw. "But – why would he do something like this? Don't his plans usually involve him going after—?"

The rest of his sentence froze in its tracks as the door into the lab suddenly burst open and in walked DK, out of breath. The big ape looked like he'd come by way of the Mushroom Stream, as his fur was matted down and his tie was soaked with sweat. He was taking in just about all of the air in the relatively small room in one breath as he struggled to find a place to start explaining.

"DK – are you okay?" Mario half-asked, half-screamed.

"Yeah, Kong, you look like you just got outta the shower or something!" a now wide-awake Wario joked.

"Wario, that's quite enough of your feeble japes," Luigi said, a mite exasperated, "they're becoming quite pestiferous—!"

"Luigi, enough of your college-level vocabulary – I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HECK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Wario shot back, half-mimicking Luigi.

"Oh, so my vocabulary is too categorical for your diminutive mind to comprehend without virtually exploding?"

"Whatever you said, YES!"

"Whatever he said," Mario barged in, "I think it means, BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP! Now, DK, what the heck happened to you?"

By now the big ape had calmed down quite a bit, and as Luigi retrieved the note from his scanner and Wario reentered his state of shock, he was able to answer:

"No, not me – I'm just fine. It's what happened to _Yoshi_ that's got me freaking out."

"Yoshi?" the Princess gasped out the word in a pure state of shock. The word's echo provided the only break in the unnatural silence that followed as DK scrambled to find the words he was looking for.

"Yes. We got to my house and…ugh, how should I put this?" He thought for a moment. "Well, let's just say…I woke up from my power nap and Yoshi was gone! A second set of footprints had appeared in the dirt around my tree, and I followed them…straight back here!"

"If Bowser was behind the note…" Mario thought out loud, "then he must have been the guy who robbed the bank and took Yoshi hostage!"

"That sounds like something Bowser might do," Peach put in. "I mean, he may have robbed the bank and kidnapped Yoshi just to get to me."

"Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that Bowser will expect you to accompany us through the Warp Pipe, and this his goons may await us on the other side," Luigi thought aloud. "So it's for your safety, Princess, if you wait for us in the labo ratory. I'll instruct you how to monitor our progress via my laptop computer. And don't vex about us, as I am the only man who can access the lab."

With that the four left and joined Toad at the Warp Pipe. The little Mushroomer was in an absolute panic as the group arrived. "Guys, we must work quickly – I overheard Bowser telling his troops to prepare for an attack on the village!"

"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" a suddenly nervous Mario began stuttering.

"Mario, there's no need to unhinge yourself over the Princess," Luigi put in reas suringly. "I told you my lab is perfectly safe. No one but me can get in, and she would have to take a back door to get out."

"But Bowser—!"

"It is nearly impossible for anyone to abscond with her, bro. Don't worry – as long as you send Bowser packing there's no way he'll go after her."

Mario opened his mouth to say something but the words refused to reveal them selves and he closed it again as they jumped one by one into the Warp Pipe. The trip seemed to take longer than usual. Upon arrival to the other side, Mario could only stand there, dumbfounded, his mouth agape at his surroundings. The group had landed upon a fragment of the largest Star any of them had ever seen. About half a dozen of these fragments floated about in a kind of virtual deep space. A few hundred stars and several galaxies hung out in the far distance. Wario was struggling not to cry as he gazed upon the gargantuan fragments of the gargantuan Star.

"Okay," Toad began, "you all remember the rules of the game, right? There are teleporters for you to take between fragments of the star—"

"THERE'LL BE NO MUSHROOMS IN _MY_ TERRITORY!" a deep voice rang out from the distance, and without warning three miniature Bowsers appeared out of thin air, grabbed Toad and vanished from whence they had come.

A fourth mini Bowser appeared in Toad's place. "Now, where were we?" it asked. "Ah, yes, the rules of the game. Look around you." The group did so and noticed no fewer than _seven_ mini Bowsers scattered throughout the board. "Ya see those Baby Bowsers? They hold your precious Stars. To acquire one, you must simply best the Baby Bowser in a dice game. If you win, you get a star. But if you _lose…_heh heh heh…if you _lose_, you must give up a treasure of choice to Master Bowser!

"Ya see those teleporters? Those will warp you from your current piece to a ran domly chosen piece.

"As usual, ya get ten Coins to start – but _you better not be getting any more, YA HEAR?_"

"Uh…loud and…uh, clear…" DK said, a mite uncertainly, as if beginning to ques tion his own safety on the board.

"Teleporters, huh?" Luigi noticed. "I simply must know the technology behind them! I've been trying to build one in my laboratory for years!"

"Uh…" the Baby Bowser thought for a moment. "Th – that technology is classified under Mr. Bowser's rule and shall not be seen by the eyes of a weakling like you! Now – ON WITH THE – uh, PARTY!"


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't believe we _lost!_" Wario complained for about the tenth time that night. The group had left the board after just ten turns of losing their behinds to Bowser and his crew and were now en route to Luigi's laboratory to plan for their second attempt. "And it's all _his fault!_" Wario added, pointing to Mario.

"_My _fault?" Mario shot back. "If _you_ hadn't lost that Star in the third turn we would've won! But _NOOOO_ – you had to push your luck and encourage the Baby Bows er!"

"Guys – please!" DK started, "you're giv—!"

"WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR STUPID MIGRAINES?" Wario shot at the big ape. "All I care about is proving to Mario that it was _his_ fault we lost!"

"Oh, you just don't want to admit that it was your fault we lost!" Mario shot back. "You don't want to admit that you lost your cool and tried to pocket the fragments of the Star for your own greedy whims and left the three of us to try and face these guys alone! Bowser had to _disqualify_ us because of it!"

"Uh…" Wario could not seem to think of a comeback for that one. "What's _disqualify_ mean?"

"Give someone the boot from a contest for breaking the rules," Luigi explained.

"Well…it was _Mario's_ fault for getting us disqu – uh, dis-k-wal-i-fied – in the first place!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" DK butted in just then, slapping one big hand over Wario's mouth and the other over Mario's. By now the group had reached the laboratory door and Luigi had started typing in his access code. "I've about _had it_ with you two! Either you two settle your differences and stop these atrocious arguments, or I turn both of you into food for Peach's pet Chain Chomp!"

Under DK's massive palm it was nearly indistinguishable but Mario swore he heard Wario mumble, "Well, he started it." As if backing this theory up, Wario extended a finger in Mario's direction.

"Well, isn't that uncanny?" Luigi spoke suddenly, stopping DK short. "The door's ajar. There's no way – I mean, the door closes automatically and it's never ajar! Oh, I am becoming quite skittish…"

"MMMEMMMY MMMRO," Mario mumbled behind DK's gargantuan manus, then realized his words would sound like gibberish and struggled to push the massive hand out of the way. "Uh…that is…easy, bro, your machine could have malfunctioned again."

"Not this time; it went kaput last week and I recalibrated the entire machine. It should have been fine…!" The nervous plumber-turned-scientist forgot to finish the access code and pulled the door open to let the others in. The light fixture over the stairway landing had gone missing, Luigi noticed as they descended the stairway. He only grew more unquiet as he pushed the door open at the bottom and took a few steps into the darkened room beyond.

"PRINCESS?" Wario called out over Mario's shoulder; an uneasy Mario nudged him backward a few feet, then followed Luigi into the room.

"PEACH – ARE YOU THERE?" Luigi's voice rang out from a few feet beyond the door.

"PRINCESS PE—?" Mario started, but to no avail; for in that instant, Luigi's finger found the light switch and brought the room to life. And in that instant, Mario forgot how to finish his girlfriend's name.

The room was in such bad shape Luigi wondered if it hadn't been turned upside-down. His wireless keyboard had found its way from a table adjacent to the giant computer screen into a hole in the wall clear across the room. The couch was overturned and the rather ornate leather pillows had been torn to shreds. The carpet was nonexistent in places and a familiar-looking crown had been thrust through the plasm coating of Luigi's computer screen. _Peach's crown?_ Mario wondered as his eyes wandered to the wooden door whose two halves had been shoved through a doorway into an adjacent basement room.

"What the heck happened here?" Wario wondered out loud.

"Yeah – did Wario pass gas in here again?" Mario joked, and all but Wario burst into laughter.

"Impossible – I was with you guys the whole time!"

"Are you sure about that, Wario? Are you sure you didn't run back here and ransack the place after you landed on that Solo Minigame space and we thought you were trying to win that minigame?"

"For once he's telling the truth," Luigi noted. "I mean, if Wario did this we would have to get the place fumigated or something! The odor would be so horrendous we would have detected it from the Village!" Once again everyone burst into laughter.

"Oh, ha ha ha, very funny!" Wario retorted sarcastically. "Next time tell the one about Mario's addiction to pasta!"

The laughter ceased just about as suddenly as it had started and Luigi turned serious. "Our next move is pretty obvious, then. We have to go in and try again. And Wario, if you so much as _think_ about running off with the giant Star, we'll make sure your funeral comes courtesy of Bowser."


	5. Chapter 5

"So – back for another defeat?" the mini Bowser teased as the group emerged from the Warp Pipe onto the Eternal Star for the second time.

"If by that you mean _your_ defeat…" Mario shot back, "then yes, we are."

The Baby Bowser took about ten steps backward and nearly backed up over the edge of the star. A moment of teetering later, it righted itself and struggled to find a comeback. "NO ONE INSULTS MASTER BOWSER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! IT IS ON!" He gave himself a moment to calm down, then continued. "Now, please hit the dice blocks above your heads to decide the order of turns."

One by one, dice blocks were shattered as Mario, then Luigi, then DK thrust fists upward into the air. Wario remained a human brick, however; he had allowed himself to fall backward and was now well on his way to sleep. "Could you hit mine for me, Kong? I don't feel like getting up."

"Wario, what did we tell you about being lazy?" DK half-said, half-threatened, pointing a finger at Bowser, on the other side of the board, as if threatening to kill him. Almost instantly Wario was on his feet and punching through his dice block.

A few turns later and Wario seemed to be ahead of the gang while Luigi remained a considerable distance behind. Luigi's luck seemed to take a turn for the better as he passed a Baby Bowser for the first Star of the game.

"You are searching for Stars?" the Baby Bowser guessed.

"Correct," Luigi answered. "I am in need of Stars to pull ahead of the others."

"Well, keep dreamin'! You gotta beat me in a dice game to get it!"

"It's on!"

A dice block appeared above the Bowser's head and Luigi noticed it contained only the numbers 8, 9, and 10. _He's cheating!_ his mind fumed. _Well…that's not quite fair, now is it?_ The Bowser cranked out an 8 and Luigi hoped for the best as he rolled his own dice block. _Come on…come on…Luigi needs a fresh bowl of PASTA!_

10. Luigi had won.

"So…" Luigi hesitated for a moment as if trying to find a place to start, then continued in a taunting tone, "where's my Star?"

The Bowser only sat in a stunned silence for a few moments, its mouth hanging open so far Luigi began to wonder if it hadn't put a dent in the surface of the Star fragment. In reality it was no more than five minutes but to Luigi it seemed like hours be fore the Bowser unfroze, took a few steps toward Luigi and stammered out, "Wh – where's your Star?" It hesitated for a few more moments before it seemed to find its ground. "You wanna know where your Star is? Well, it's right…HERE!"

All at once the Bowser launched itself at Luigi, its arms a pair of battering rams aimed at his chest. The Bowser was moving so fast, Luigi had barely enough time to dive out of the way. As he landed hard on the cool surface of the Star, the Bowser stumbled over his outstretched legs and began to cartwheel. Luigi turned around in just enough time to watch it somersault clear off the edge of the Star fragment, leaving a Star in its place. Luigi grabbed the Star and moved on.

On the other side of the board, Mario rolled a 10 and began looking ahead to see what space he would land upon. He realized he would hit a teleporter en route and a shiver snaked its way down his spine as he began to move forward. _Nine…eight…seven…six…_his mind counted down the spaces as he made his way to the teleporter. Another shiver nearly sent his knees flying out from under him as he stepped onto the pad. He suddenly felt his legs tingling, then his torso; then a bright flash of light ensued and the tingling sensation vanished. He realized he had warped to another fragment of Star and began moving forward again. _Five…four…three…_ "Oh crap," he muttered under his breath as he approached Bowser. "Well, time for the final battle."

Meanwhile, literally across the board, DK hit a Baby Bowser and came away plus one Star. Fortunately, he stopped on a blue space and he gained three coins. He breathed a sigh of relief, mentally praying for a high enough roll next turn to pass over the Bowser space, three spaces ahead of him; but that relief quickly turned to disappointment when realized he had stopped on the space where Wario had stopped last turn.

"Oh crap, I hope he doesn't pickpocket my star…" the ape mumbled under his breath.

"Pickpocket what Star?" Wario asked in a mixture of taunt and counterfeit confusion. "I didn't know you had any!"

As DK breathed another sigh of relief Wario held up a Star out of seemingly nowhere. "Do you mean…THIS Star?"

"Hey – that's mine!"

"Keep dreaming – I had it first!"

One cannot imagine the big ape's frustration by this point, and within seconds he had Wario pinned to the surface of the board. A few Baby Bowsers on other Star fragments began cheering the two on. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

A swift punch from Wario sent DK rocketing into the air and nearly over the edge of the board. As the Baby Bowser cheered on, Wario grabbed the ape's red necktie and began warming up for a punch. His punch flew and nearly hit Luigi, a few fragments away from the fight, as Bowser's voice rang out over the whole board:

"BABY BOWSERS, STOP THESE INCESSANT SHENANIGANS THIS INSTANT! AND YOU TWO, STOP FIGHTING OR I'LL BE FORCED TO DISQUALIFY YOU!"

_If I were him I'd have those two disqualified after the first turn!_ Mario's subconscious joked; then it nearly screamed and ran as Bowser turned his rage to the plumber in the red cap. Mario cringed as half of him prepared for Bowser's fury and the other half wondered if he would even live to see tomorrow. As his peripheral vision watched DK and Wario freeze solid and the former pocket the Star, and strained to find Luigi in his blind spot, Mario decided it was time to confront Bowser rather than standing there looking like he had just soiled himself.

"Bowser, where is the Princess?" he demanded to know.

"Th – the P-princess?" Bowser stammered in obviously counterfeit confusion, then quickly added in a half-mumble, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Quit faking it, Bowser, I've fallen for it way too many times."

As if on cue, the gargantuan turtle in the spiked shell pulled a nearby lever and something rose out of the ground. Mario's jaw met the ground as he realized what it was: a cage full of Yoshi and Peach. Laughing maniacally, so much so that Mario wondered if he wasn't an escapee from an insane asylum, the giant Koopa pulled a second lever and the cage swung out and over the edge of the fragment of Star. "What are you going to do now, huh, plumber? I've got you right where I want you!"

Mario opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He knew that for once Bowser had him cornered. A small part of the back of his mind contemplated pulling a _Super Mario 64_ tailspin on the giant Koopa – until his eye caught the glare of virtual starlight off of the equally giant blade all but locked in Bowser's hand and hanging a few inches above the rope which was the only thing keeping Peach and Yoshi alive. He realized that blade would seal their fate if he so much as moved a toe, let alone tried to push Bowser off the side.

"Uh…Luigi…" he started but never finished.

"Aw, how cute! The little baby is finally crying for his mommy!" Bowser teased, and in Mario's peripheral vision three Baby Bowsers doubled over in laughter, one stumbling over a loose wire and nearly over the edge of his Star fragment.

"L – Lu – i – gi – ?" Mario tried again, the syllables of his brother's name barely managing to show themselves between nearly uncontrollable sobs. "Uh…?" But he never finished. _This is hopeless…_the plumber's subconscious took over as the irrepressible weeping possessed his body and sent him to his hands and knees. _I make a move and he kills them! What's he want with me anyway?_

"That's it! Cry, little baby, cry!" came the endless taunts. "I always knew you were weak and spineless but not like this!"

By now Mario had had just about enough. As if in slow motion his hands became tight fists, and growling under his breath, he rose to his feet, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Bowser, SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S WEAK AND SPINELESS!"

All at once Bowser froze solid, his mouth the largest O of surprise Mario had ever seen. The knife fell out of Bowser's hand, ricocheted off of a virtual rock and careened across the fragment of Star and over the edge. Mario swore he saw the giant Koopa take about a hundred steps backward as he rose as high onto his tiptoes as he could. "You probably couldn't kill those two if they were Goombas! Heck, you probably couldn't harm a _fly!_"

Bowser's jaw joined the knife upon the ground as his eyes grew to the size of the Coins in Mario's pocket. The giant Koopa could only gasp in awe as he struggled to find the comeback that never came. Now the upper hand was Mario's, and he stood in place, his eyes, cold with rage, locked upon Bowser's like a pair of electromagnets surging with negative energy. Bowser just stared back, now cringing in nervousness and contemplating retreating into his shell the way his Koopas did whenever Mario stomped them, watching Mario almost glow in rage. "Y – yeah?" he started, then lost his train of thought. After a few moments he gave up and uttered the first thing that came to his mind: "Y-yeah – well, you're – you're – as dumb as Wario!"

"If I was as dumb as that buffoon I'd be _you!_" Mario shot back almost instantly. "Now, are you going to let Yoshi and the Princess go or am I going to have to make you let them go?"

"N – n – !" the shocked Bowser struggled to find the word. "N – NEVER!" And he began to swing a claw in the direction of the rope holding the cage full of Princess and dinosaur over the virtual abyss.

Fortunately, Mario was faster; sprinting like he never had in his life, he darted behind Bowser, grabbed his tail and lifted the giant Koopa off the ground, spinning him around and around. Bowser's claw hit the lever controlling the crane holding the cage over the abyss as he spun, and it swung back over solid ground – and as Mario watched helplessly, his hands full of Bowser's tail, his eyes bugging out of his head as he struggled to slow Bowser down to keep him from flying off the board map and landing somewhere in the Beanbean Kingdom, the rope holding the cage tore apart and the cage began to plummet to the surface of the Star fragment, three stories below.


	6. Chapter 6

"NOOOOOOO!" Mario screamed in a frenzied fury, setting a dazed Bowser upon the ground and taking off running toward the spot where he thought the cage was going to land. The superhuman speed he had gained before had walked out of him, but he pushed his legs as hard as he could to get under the cage and cushion their fall. His mind counted backward from three and he dived to the ground, right under the spot where the the cage was going to land.

Too late.

The cage hit the ground just a few feet away from his outstretched arms, and Mario swore he heard the sickening thud as a skull was caved in under pressure. He hoped to God it was Bowser's as the cage burst open and three bodies piled out upon the ground. He pulled himself up and ran toward the bodies of his three friends – and to his relief he found them unscathed. Yoshi was shaking himself conscious as Mario approached. Peach awoke from her daze a few moments later.

"MMMRRFFFFFF!" someone screamed, and Mario realized the voice was emanating from under Yoshi.

Still in a half-daze, Yoshi rolled out of the way to reveal…Toad. "Sorry about that…!"

A glare of anger later, Toad repeated: "What I said was, _what the heck happened?_"

"Why don't you ask Bowser?" Mario started, but never finished; as Bowser lay unconscious upon the ground, the fragment of Star began to rumble, and all eight fragments slowly came together to form the largest Star Mario had ever seen. Mario could literally hear Wario sobbing as the Board Map spaces vanished and a Warp Pipe appeared in one corner of the Star.

It was only then that Mario realized he had won.

He had somehow managed to take down Bowser and free his friends, even though Bowser had had him cornered. Mario hadn't nearly enough cunning to do any thing like that; those genes had been submitted to his brother. Compared to Luigi, Mario was, as Bowser had suggested, just about as dumb as Wario, who had taken an IQ test a few years back and proven that he was literally as dumb as a rock. Mario could only ponder this as Luigi, DK and Wario joined them and all seven started to the Warp Pipe in the corner.

They had only taken a few steps, however, when an explosion sounded just a few feet behind them and the entire Star rumbled, knocking Mario off his feet and Peach onto Yoshi's seat. Mario turned around, expecting to see nothing but abyss where an entire corner of Star had broken off and fallen; but for the first time, if even for two seconds, Mario was actually relieved to see Bowser. That relief was short lived, however; Mario could almost see the rage flowing through Bowser, could hear the unpleasant thoughts which accompanied it as they tore through the giant Koopa's inner sanctums.

Bowser's nostrils were literally spewing smoke like a pair of hot teakettles as he took another step towards the group. "MARIO, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

A few dozen Baby Bowsers appears as if from nowhere a few dozen feet away and a chorus of "You'll pay! You'll pay!" rose as though from a rebellious choir.

As if in slow motion Bowser took a step forward. Mario tensed up and Luigi whispered something Mario couldn't understand to the others. Another step forward, and Mario could almost feel the giant Koopa's rancid breath upon his face. He literally cringed in disgust as he took a step back. Another step forward – then, almost on cue, the giant Koopa leaned back, and launched himself like an overgrown bullet at the group. "MARIO – YOU'RE _DEAD!_"

And almost on cue, the group spun around and took off running for the Warp Pipe.

"MARIO!" Bowser screamed from somewhere behind the group. "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR CAN!" Suddenly, Mario couldn't tell whether Bowser was right behind him or somewhere in Dry Dry Desert, a thousand miles away. And suddenly, the Pipe seemed to be just a few steps away; and yet, simultaneously, the Star seemed to stretch on for miles upon endless miles, and the pipe seemed to be somewhere in Princess Daisy's castle, a million and more miles away. Despite this the group reached the Pipe in record time and one by one, they hopped in. A few tense minutes later they reemerged in the Mushroom Village. Just then, Bowser's head appeared in the Pipe.

And almost as soon, Mario leaped over the river, took a great leap into the air – and gave Bowser's noggin the biggest stomp he had in him. And as Bowser's head vanished and he plummeted to – well, Mario could only guess to where – Bowser screamed from within the Pipe:

"I'LL GET YOU, MAARIOOOOOO!"

* * *

"Ugh – why didn't anyone tell me this would be so much work?" Wario complained.

"Because if we told you, you wouldn't do a darn thing," Mario quipped, chuckling to himself.

The group had just about finished rebuilding the Village, including reinforcing the stilts on Frog's hut and providing the Mushroom Bank with a new safe and a reinforced underground room just behind the Bank to store it in. The raft appeared out of thin air a few minutes later and Yoshi tied it to the refurbished wooden bridge. A platform had been placed over the Warp Pipe and a DJ station placed upon the board, facing the woods behind the Pipe.

That night more people than Mario expected showed up for Toad's party. As DJ Frog took a break between sets and the guests enjoyed dinner, the last of the clouds drifted beyond the horizon, leaving behind the most beautiful night sky Mario had ever seen.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" someone whispered in Mario's ear, and he turned to find Peach's face in his own.

"OH – Princess, you scared me!" he stammered out. The night sky seemed to turn the usually beautiful woman into something beyond beauty, something which drew Mario to Peach like no other woman ever could. He could feel the kiss coming, until…

"OKAY!" someone shouted, bringing Mario's mind reeling back to reality. In his half-daze he spun around to see who it was: a rather tall female Toad in a red polka-dot turban. "It is time for us to give our beloved mayor a nice Happy Birthday!" The Toad raised her arms and began waving them in a motion Mario recognized as conducting, and the crowd began to sing:

"_Happy birthday to you!_

_Happy birthday to you!_

_Happy birthday, dear Kinopio!_

_Happy birthday to you!"_


End file.
